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Michelle From Hell (1)
44 years old Houston, Texas, United States

Last Blog Entries

	IT IS ABOUT FUCKIN' TIME! Wednesday, May 09, 2012 1:00:am (0 comments)
	debauchery dungeons Tuesday, May 08, 2012 5:59:am (0 comments)
	update Tuesday, May 08, 2012 12:33am (0 comments)
	I forgot to tell y'all my cancer is back! Friday, January 13, 2012 8:55:am (0 comments)
	So my evil heart got a giggle then a aw that sucks moment all at once yesterday Friday, January 13, 2012 8:53:am (0 comments)
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finally GREAT NEWS

Blog Created: Sunday, September 18, 2011 12:48:24 PM
Blog Views: 171

I LOOKS LIKE I HAVE BEAT THE CANCER & THANKS
Journal Entry | 8 Comments | about 3 hours ago

So, the only bad news I have is that I am still without a computer -- but it's in the shop being fixed so even that will be remedied soon!! [and we already have net at home, so being online will return to daily!!! wooohooooo!!!]

GREAT NEWS - August they did a CAT scan and it looks like my CANCER IS GONE. That's right folks, your love, prayers and support completely paid off. This doesn't mean I count as a survivor yet, just that i am in remission. No one will commit to this being over until I am cancer free for a longer time, but I can tell y'all for the first time in over twenty years my belly does not pooch out at all -- even at 100 lbs. [which is my current weight]

i am still not strong enough to go back to work -- i can barely walk to the end of the block bc i have 'glass bones' feelings in my feet, but I am feeling a million percent on the rise. I had my port removed and last week my stint from my kidney to my bladder eased itself out. I actually pulled it out myself [talk about a complete freak out], with no resulting problems. i am still on the morphine, but slowly detoxing from it. This will be my last week for two a day. The Dr. told me that I would go down to one a day and then could pull myself of. i have one week's worth of pills to do that. i am hoping this will help me gain weight.

*funny story: the docs told me to incorporate CANDY into my diet and I started laughing hysterically. I explained that I don't normally even like that kind of crap and worked forever to give up desserts. But now it's like i have to have it on a regular basis. Yet i don't seem able to regain any of the weight. BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I HATE BEING THIS SKINNY!! i look much like I did in HS, and it scares the crap out of me. I have no idea why I thought it was so appealing back then!!

i owe so many of you my undying thanks. To those who gave -- some who couldn't even afford it yourselves--a million thanks. i am positive there are angel wings waiting for you after this life! To the true and dear friends who took the time to come by even when it was hard to see me, well let's just say I feel very loved. [Oh and to those of you who bailed on me -- you know who you are -- I am sorely disappointed but I will get over it.]

Will has been amazing through out this horrid experience. BTW - he's sticking around and loving me even more now that I am feeling better. I was honestly worried that taking care of me was only him making amends for the crap he pulled right before we found out and would leave once I got better. Turns out he's a much better man than I gave him credit for. I am more in love with him now then when we first met.

While this was all going on, I've gotten closer with his family. They have even met my kids and treated them extremely lovingly too. I am blessed to have this 'new family' in my life. It's helped me begin the healing process with my own mother. Sure I still have some serious trust issues with her, so I limit myself; but overall the relationship is somewhat on the mend. [it does help that she is in canada for month though! teehee]

The kids are still living at home. They are both working in the costume rental department at party boy this season. Hopefully when that gig ends they can each find full time jobs and get more serious about their plans to move out. I am working becoming stronger as a mother to let them go. It's time they taste what being a real grown up is all about. They have finally started helping more with the household -- Julian in particular -- whereas they each withdrew while I was so ill. Will managed to do everything from work to taking care of me and the house while I was sick with VERY little help from them. [another disappointment, i must say but expectable seeing how close my illness was to their father's death.]

Socially I am chosing to remain out of the loop. The Serpentarium is basically dissolved while I maintain family ties to a select few -- the ones who didn't blow me off while I was sick. And to be honest I am fortunate to live without much of the drama that the ones I no longer am tied to brought to my world. I hope to further advance the relationships that remain and am dedicated to becomming closer to the people who took the time to come by while I was ill. Let's just say that I really found out who truly loved me for me thanks to the cancer. My favorite quote about this was, "Ya know if someone had told me ten years ago that I would care so much about you that I would come beat on your door to check on you, i would have never believed them!' When my dear friend said this to me, I realized she was right -- the folks who did come surprised the shit out of me too. Thanks to each of you!!

And a special thanks to those who tried to keep up with me online. From the folks who really have known me to the strangers who followed my tail of woes, the support you provided was amazing. I hope my progresses bring a smile to your faces and that you each know i appreciate what you have done.

So that's it. Life is looking up. I am happy and want each of you to know it's all going to be okay from here on out~

Lv M

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